Well the numbers might not quite be in, but I think the results are somewhat conclusive. It appears that the majority of visitors to "A Cage of Words" do feel that on-line dating is not shady.
So who cares? What does it all mean Basel? (Austin Powers movie quote) Well I am not sure. One thing I do find interesting is the stigma that is associated with on-line dating. You know what I mean. You ask your friend where they met their new significant other, they say on-line, and you say, "O... (awkward pause)...that's cool...(subject change). " If they don't change the subject people always say they think it is great that they met that way. This is of course said with the same tone and voice pattern used when telling someone it is great that their doctor found the life threading condition early... it may be positive but it is hard to spin it to sound positive.
So where does this stigma come from? I would offer that most of the people I know who have tried on-line dating have been rather happy with the results. There are few (I did not they there are not any) who say that their experience was negative. I'm not sure how valid this is because would people admit to trying on-line dating if they had a negative experience? Maybe more people then we think have tried it and had negative results, and that is where the stigma comes from.
Other people have suggested to me that by trying on-line dating they fell like they would not be being patient with God's will. I asked them if they then think they are being patient when they go out in general, or talk to any member of the opposite gender. I know this reasoning is a bit specious, but I think this speaks to another questions of patients vs. actively discovering God's will in our life, and less to the issue of on-line dating.
There is also the argument out there that you never know what you are getting. That people often lie about themselves on-line to sound better. Forgive me for sounding... naive, but is it not better to assume that people are being honest? Also, are their not those same people you meet elsewhere who lie about themselves in person? "For the measure with which you measure
will in return be measured out to you." ~Luke 6:38
Another factor of course is the cost. I would agree with this one. I think we all know (or do now) that I will very soon have diamonds in my possession from the coal I ate last week. On-line dating sites do charge for their service and so do "people of the night." Hm... speaking of stigmas. Is $70.00 really to much to pay for the opportunity to meet your future "soul mate" (a term I hate, but use for effect)? The cost of a date is easily $30.00, so you avoid 2 1/3 other dates and you are in.
In a recent conversation with one such previously mentioned "person of the night" she told me, "Online dating services should not replace how we date but it is acceptable for them to affect how we meet." I think this lovely madam (3) hit the nail on the head. There is a fine line between being introduced to someone through an on-line dating service and meeting that individual in person vers spending hours on-line talk to someone who the first time you met is when they get off the bus (LaFawnduh & Kip, o sweet memories). I think the stigma comes from people who believe the latter, when in reality I think the former is much more common.
Wow, keep your head up there champ, I am almost done here. It is time for the big question, which is really why you are reading this post: Is Andy going to try on-line dating? Well, maybe.
Keep up the fight
Friday, January 30, 2009
Wednesday, January 28, 2009
Snow Update
Well I am still here. I must admit that it was a pretty good storm. There was no wind, but after it was done we did get about 10 inches of snow with about an inch of ice in the middle of it.
Of course this kind of snow we only get "once every 5 years." So naturally my landlord does not have anyone lined up to plow out the parking lot/drive way to my place. Don't worry after the snow plow went by I went and dug out my car and the end of the drive. I also dug out a lane to back out of the lot from and all in all it took about an hour. It was a nice work out really.
The power is still on so no need to send candles, but thanks anyways.
Keep up the fight
Of course this kind of snow we only get "once every 5 years." So naturally my landlord does not have anyone lined up to plow out the parking lot/drive way to my place. Don't worry after the snow plow went by I went and dug out my car and the end of the drive. I also dug out a lane to back out of the lot from and all in all it took about an hour. It was a nice work out really.
The power is still on so no need to send candles, but thanks anyways.
Keep up the fight
Monday, January 26, 2009
Winter Storm Watch
Well last weekend I cleaned my car. I mean really cleaned it. I pulled it into the shop and vacuumed it all out. Then I sprayed down and cleaned all the hard surfaces. I even cleaned the inside of the windshield. To top it all off I went to the car warsh (yes warsh) and got the $8 fancy warsh (yes warsh) with the undercarriage option. I then even rain-xed the windshield.
So it would then stand to reason that we are going to get our big winter storm now. The roads are salted and my poor car is all dirty again. I guess I will have to trust in the Tri-Gloss wax that got sprayed on to help protect it. Even though only half the speakers work, one mirror is glued on, the mileage is getting rather high and it is rusting like crazy on the undercarriage, it looked like a dream if you tilted your head just right when the sun was in your eyes and you were squinting.
What is this winter storm that is on its way. Well up to 2 inches tonight. That is on top of the already 1/8 inch we got yesterday. It is supposed to be in the mid 20's. Then tomorrow we might get another 2-3 inches with the chance of sleet also. With this duzzie coming in Obama might have to declare his first state of emergency. Do we have a new FEMA director yet? Or did the old person get to stay? Good thing I have several jugs of water and plenty of beer (thanks Ford) to keep me alive for a few weeks. Now where did I put those candles...?
Keep up the fight
So it would then stand to reason that we are going to get our big winter storm now. The roads are salted and my poor car is all dirty again. I guess I will have to trust in the Tri-Gloss wax that got sprayed on to help protect it. Even though only half the speakers work, one mirror is glued on, the mileage is getting rather high and it is rusting like crazy on the undercarriage, it looked like a dream if you tilted your head just right when the sun was in your eyes and you were squinting.
What is this winter storm that is on its way. Well up to 2 inches tonight. That is on top of the already 1/8 inch we got yesterday. It is supposed to be in the mid 20's. Then tomorrow we might get another 2-3 inches with the chance of sleet also. With this duzzie coming in Obama might have to declare his first state of emergency. Do we have a new FEMA director yet? Or did the old person get to stay? Good thing I have several jugs of water and plenty of beer (thanks Ford) to keep me alive for a few weeks. Now where did I put those candles...?
Keep up the fight
Thursday, January 22, 2009
Old and New
Out with the old and in with the newAll things equal in moderation
If it isn't broke, don't fix it
Tried and true or new and novel
Trends, fades and old school
Old faithful
Happy New Year
There are many opinions in this world as to which is better: old or new. Personally I love a good new pair of underwear, but hate visiting a new doctor. Some people think a new coat of paint is great and others miss the old crack in the wall from when they were a kid.
In my apartment I try to mix both the old and the new. I like to have old toys from when I was a kid out on my end table. I also like to drink out of old salsa jars. It is true that I have several sets of new glasses which are all very lovely, but they all lack a certain feel that a salsa jar has in your hand.
I like new energy efficient light bulbs. They are so dang bright!! I also like my chair, which my mom and dad got for me brand new when I moved into this place. (Thanks again!!) The chair on the left is old and I love to sit and read in. This whole lamp/end table thing is also new. (Again, Thanks again mom and dad!!)
Old and new blend so well together in my apartment. So if you are a new friend or an old one, always know you are welcome to stop by anytime. The guest bed is old, but it has new sheets.
Keep up the fight.
Monday, January 19, 2009
Dr. Martin Luther King Jr.
I wanted to say something in honor of this great American, but every thing I could think to say sounded a bit cliche. I think I am at a loss of words because I don't understand the Civil Rights movement. Now don't get me wrong I don't mean I am in any way against Civil Rights or that I don't know the facts of history. I am all for Civil Rights I and think what King and others did was amazing. All I am saying is that it is something that has never been a part of my life. I am from small town Iowa. We were not exactly the front lines for social revolution. I went to school in Iowa and have lived in rather non-diverse small towns ever since college. I am not so blind to think that I am never seen discrimination. I think it is save to say I am simple ignorant to whole situation.
Come to think of it, I am not sure if it is ignorance for just simple the fact that I am desensitized. It simply no longer occurs to me that all people are not free and equal. The thought seldom enters my mind that today thousands of people will die from a wide verity of things including natural causes, cancer, murder, starvation, religious believes, extreme weather, accidents, crashes... Maybe I have just come to understand the facts of life. Maybe it is not that I am desensitized but that I am a realist.
I think this is why today is Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. day. So people like me who were not there and do not have any memories can learn. I can take my attitude, ignorance and desensitized nature and change. Wait...Change...Yes, we can change... and maybe tomorrow I will understand just a little bit better what the good doctor King was fighting for.
Keep up the fight
Come to think of it, I am not sure if it is ignorance for just simple the fact that I am desensitized. It simply no longer occurs to me that all people are not free and equal. The thought seldom enters my mind that today thousands of people will die from a wide verity of things including natural causes, cancer, murder, starvation, religious believes, extreme weather, accidents, crashes... Maybe I have just come to understand the facts of life. Maybe it is not that I am desensitized but that I am a realist.
I think this is why today is Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. day. So people like me who were not there and do not have any memories can learn. I can take my attitude, ignorance and desensitized nature and change. Wait...Change...Yes, we can change... and maybe tomorrow I will understand just a little bit better what the good doctor King was fighting for.
Keep up the fight
Friday, January 16, 2009
We all have a place...
We all have a place we go. A place that may be a bit... shady. It is the place we go to blend in. To see and not be seen. No budding asking questions; people minding their own business.
Locals wanted, outsiders not. They are on our turf, and just in case they didn't know it, our stare will remind them. They are welcome to sit down and stay awhile if they really need to, we are after all civilized, but they need not take off their coat.
Old Wild Bill sits hunched over in the corner with his old brown hat settled deep on his brow. No on knows for sure if he can even see the copy of the Brown County Democrat he clings to, but we all know he can see one of them from a mile away. The story of how Wild Bill became Wild is whispered around the joint, though the specifics seem to fade away when you try to put them on paper.
Rita paces up and down the long aisle. She had a soft and gentle face before... I guess one might say before the years took their toll on her. You can tell her mind forgot to track time in her memories and has left her waiting for a tomorrow that has already come and gone long go. Is she a nervous wreck or does she know something I don't. For her, prudence means always be moving towards the door. Perhaps she, like Wild Bill can see things I can not.
Mike is on duty tonight. He really knows his stuff. None of us are quite sure how he landed here or what keeps him coming back night after night. Maybe none of us dare ask for fear that the inquisition might be reciprocated, or maybe we know the truths of his story all to well in our own life. Whatever the reasons are, they seem to be enough, and for us that is all we need.
Mike's lackey Peggie is coming around now. She says only 10 minutes to closing. It is said that stereotypes save time, and what you think of, is what you get in Peggie I need not say anymore about her.
I pack up my stuff and put on my coat. I know winters bitter chill will be in the air, yet I have no need for my hat or gloves, I am not going very far. "Night Mike," I say on my out the door, "See you tomorrow?"
"Maybe." Mike replies.
Locals wanted, outsiders not. They are on our turf, and just in case they didn't know it, our stare will remind them. They are welcome to sit down and stay awhile if they really need to, we are after all civilized, but they need not take off their coat.
Old Wild Bill sits hunched over in the corner with his old brown hat settled deep on his brow. No on knows for sure if he can even see the copy of the Brown County Democrat he clings to, but we all know he can see one of them from a mile away. The story of how Wild Bill became Wild is whispered around the joint, though the specifics seem to fade away when you try to put them on paper.
Rita paces up and down the long aisle. She had a soft and gentle face before... I guess one might say before the years took their toll on her. You can tell her mind forgot to track time in her memories and has left her waiting for a tomorrow that has already come and gone long go. Is she a nervous wreck or does she know something I don't. For her, prudence means always be moving towards the door. Perhaps she, like Wild Bill can see things I can not.
Mike is on duty tonight. He really knows his stuff. None of us are quite sure how he landed here or what keeps him coming back night after night. Maybe none of us dare ask for fear that the inquisition might be reciprocated, or maybe we know the truths of his story all to well in our own life. Whatever the reasons are, they seem to be enough, and for us that is all we need.
Mike's lackey Peggie is coming around now. She says only 10 minutes to closing. It is said that stereotypes save time, and what you think of, is what you get in Peggie I need not say anymore about her.
I pack up my stuff and put on my coat. I know winters bitter chill will be in the air, yet I have no need for my hat or gloves, I am not going very far. "Night Mike," I say on my out the door, "See you tomorrow?"
"Maybe." Mike replies.
Tuesday, January 13, 2009
Goodbye Monday
I think the days of the Monday posts might be gone. I know this might sadden some of you. I just have not be feeling the blog update on Mondays anymore.
So the news from Nashville is staggering. Well not really, but I thought I might try to give you something to get excited about.
I decided that I am ready to get out a bit more here in Indiana. I know that this will shock most of you for one of two reasons. 1) You did not know it was possible for me to desire to go out. 2) I am suggesting there is something to go out to. Both of these are fair points that do have a great deal of merit to them. I will try to talk more about both points. 1) I think it is time. I have gotten comfortable in Nashville. In many ways maybe a bit to comfortable. I think it is time to branch out and broaden my horizons. I have been living in the woods for so long that it is just time. That brings us to number 2. This is the Caribbean of the Midwest, as my dear friend Ryan calls it, so there must be plenty of things to do. There is a Grad student / YP group at the student center in Bloomington and I think I am going to go to more of their events. I think I might also find out if there are any card groups in the area. I might have to find a partner to get in a game, but you never know.
Blizzard. We didn't have one, but we were supposed to. It was also supposed to get down to single digits and it stayed in the 30's. Hope Iowa and whereever else people are reading this at is nice and warm.
Keep up the fight.
So the news from Nashville is staggering. Well not really, but I thought I might try to give you something to get excited about.
I decided that I am ready to get out a bit more here in Indiana. I know that this will shock most of you for one of two reasons. 1) You did not know it was possible for me to desire to go out. 2) I am suggesting there is something to go out to. Both of these are fair points that do have a great deal of merit to them. I will try to talk more about both points. 1) I think it is time. I have gotten comfortable in Nashville. In many ways maybe a bit to comfortable. I think it is time to branch out and broaden my horizons. I have been living in the woods for so long that it is just time. That brings us to number 2. This is the Caribbean of the Midwest, as my dear friend Ryan calls it, so there must be plenty of things to do. There is a Grad student / YP group at the student center in Bloomington and I think I am going to go to more of their events. I think I might also find out if there are any card groups in the area. I might have to find a partner to get in a game, but you never know.
Blizzard. We didn't have one, but we were supposed to. It was also supposed to get down to single digits and it stayed in the 30's. Hope Iowa and whereever else people are reading this at is nice and warm.
Keep up the fight.
Thursday, January 8, 2009
Neglect
Just what has Andy been neglecting? Well several things. First and foremost, and probably the only one you really care about it, is this blog.
Other things might include my health. Yes, it is true I was sick yesterday. I know many people regard me much in the same way as ancient Egyptians regarded their pharaoh, but I am not a God, and to suggest so would be blaspheme. I got some sort of 24 hour fever bug. I had to crank my heat to 65 and I was under all but to blankets in my apartment. The other two where out in the living room and I was to cold to get up and get them. The fever did break and I am now back at work ready to go.
College football. I must admit I neglected to pay attention to it once again this year. I know this is not a surprise to most of you. It does matter however. There is a "Miller Bowl" trophy up for grabs every year to the winner in our family who picks the most bowl games correct. Although I was the first winner of it, and currently hold the NCAA 64 trophy, I did not win this year. Congratulations goes out to my father who now is the first time back to back winner of the trophy.
I am sure there are other things out there that I am forgetting to admit my neglect in, but for now I think that is enough.
Keep up the fight
Andy
Other things might include my health. Yes, it is true I was sick yesterday. I know many people regard me much in the same way as ancient Egyptians regarded their pharaoh, but I am not a God, and to suggest so would be blaspheme. I got some sort of 24 hour fever bug. I had to crank my heat to 65 and I was under all but to blankets in my apartment. The other two where out in the living room and I was to cold to get up and get them. The fever did break and I am now back at work ready to go.
College football. I must admit I neglected to pay attention to it once again this year. I know this is not a surprise to most of you. It does matter however. There is a "Miller Bowl" trophy up for grabs every year to the winner in our family who picks the most bowl games correct. Although I was the first winner of it, and currently hold the NCAA 64 trophy, I did not win this year. Congratulations goes out to my father who now is the first time back to back winner of the trophy.
I am sure there are other things out there that I am forgetting to admit my neglect in, but for now I think that is enough.
Keep up the fight
Andy
Friday, January 2, 2009
Happy New Years
Well at last 2009 is here. Not that I have been waiting for 09, but I really didn't have anything better to title this post with so I thought I would go with the obvious.
I have returned Nashville, unpacked all my wonderful gifts and have restocked the kitchen. Life will soon settle back into the normal everyday grind. Yes, I am looking forward to this, I enjoy the predictability of everyday life. I am like a child, I do best on a routine.
I had an amazing time back in Iowa. It was so great to see all of my family and even a few friends. Some of the major highlights include:
Well I hope you all had a nice Christmas season, and are looking forward to 2009.
Keep up the fight.
I have returned Nashville, unpacked all my wonderful gifts and have restocked the kitchen. Life will soon settle back into the normal everyday grind. Yes, I am looking forward to this, I enjoy the predictability of everyday life. I am like a child, I do best on a routine.
I had an amazing time back in Iowa. It was so great to see all of my family and even a few friends. Some of the major highlights include:
- Seeing both Grandmas
- Seeing all the family
- Playing Cards
- Working on a puzzle
- Taking down all the Christmas decorations
- A fried chicken picnic with the Fitz's
- The concert
- Moore Family visit who drove 8 hours round trip to see me
Well I hope you all had a nice Christmas season, and are looking forward to 2009.
Keep up the fight.
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